Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
