I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
