Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
