He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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