Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
