do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
