yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
