omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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