Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
