Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
