I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
