Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
