girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
