hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
