God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
