they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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