At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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