Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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