need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
we should paint friendship bongs
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
