At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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