I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
