Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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