It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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