Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
