if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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