We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
