I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
