White coat. Heels.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
