some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
