Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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