Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
