I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
