epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
