so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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