Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
