im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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