i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
