I am spending my child support on dildos
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
