That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
