question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
