I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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