Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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