You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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