What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sorry about my life...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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