WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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