I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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