i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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