We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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