i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
