Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
