Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
